I'm not going to lie

I may have had a few beers ;)

But it was nice just to chat to dad today about the good old times. I make him laugh and he's one of the few people who can respect my raw sarcasm. He was telling me random things I used to do as a little kid and I can't help but reminisce. I miss the little girl I once was.. so innocent and free. I miss how when I scraped my knee or the video player would stuff up and I couldn't watch the lion king, and these were the most devastating parts of my day. I've made a lot of mistakes in life, but I'm surviving. I'm an independent person and that became abundantly clear when Dad was telling me that I was always wise beyond my years, even as a child. When you grow up in a similar situation to me you learn that you have to become wise, become older or you simply don't fit in in your world. I never sat around playing 'dolls' and having 'tea parties' instead I'd want to go and visit family and try and hold intelligent conversations with them. Of course none of them took me seriously, but now I finally find they are. It's a good feeling, all I need now is a job. A place to show everyone that I don't need a piece of paper to prove what I can do. A chance is all I'm looking for, and if I keep searching hopefully I will discover that chance.

Last day of Winter hey? and I can't act like I'm not excited.It's draws us ever closer into spring ... which in turn brings us to my favourite season of all SUMMER! I love summer more then I love life. It means late nights skinny dipping and drinking beers, eating tea outdoors and watching the sunsets, playing with friends for hours and my favourite.. camping. I miss the good old days where all of my family would camp for weeks on end. I'd play cricket with all my cousins and swim for hours and hours, only to retire when I was utterly exhausted and starved! I'd eat around 5 sausages and sleep! Only to be awake at the crack of dawn to do it all again the next day. Nothing in the world will ever replace these memories.

Anyhow, beer awaits.. so until next time remember

-- You can't go back in time, but you can do your best to recapture the kid you once were and always seize every opportunity while you have it, because you never know when you'll get another chance to enjoy pure bliss.

Do you ever wish

..To go back in time.

Do you ever read snippets of things you have written? You read the words and they capture yourself, but so much time has passed, you have forgotten the what seems now foolish, ridiculous ideas and beliefs that you once owned, so many moments before. Do you wish you could jump into your old body, and re-write a different story but having the ability to keep all your present thoughts and knowledge?

If we were to re-write history what would it affect? We all have paths in life and we choose where we head. I had the most overwhelming feeling the other day. It's like I was sitting in one of those crazy American motorways, the ones with around 30 different roads all encircling one another but heading outward different directions. It's like I knew what path 'I should' take but instead I felt myself getting behind the wheel and taking the path I knew was wrong. If you know a road is going to be a dead end do you still take it? If you knew something was doomed from the beginning would you still take the risk? And if all roads do in fact 'lead to Rome' then what is the need for a map? I say take the journey. Experience life at it's best because you only get to live it once. I'm sick of being pocketed into stereotypes and suffering from blatant hypocrisy. Why be average? Don't take the highway straight to the city, but in fact take the back roads. For in lies the adventure of a lifetime. Enjoy everything. Sleep all day on a weekday 'just because you feel like it', drink beer at 10 in the morning, scream 'fuck you' in the middle of a crowded street if it makes you feel alive. Just never lose touch with yourself.

Once you're lost the whole world disappears with you.

Don't worry about others, because truth is .. they move on .. and your still left with the ugly thoughts of bitterness and regret in your seemingly over crowded mind.

-- By the time you figure it out, it's often too late.

So quit waiting, and wake the hell up!

I'm Intrigued..

Well I've re written this twice now.

First blog, etc.. I wrote to try and please my readers but now I don't really care.

I hate sterotypes/labels etc.. and feel like I personally don't fall under anything because I'm my own person and in fact it's you label makers that fall under categories that I wouldn't be too excited to be labelled as.

I had an excellent weekend, got out to Yahoo, got my drink on.. etc.. Love the rush of rebellion but now I'm pretty much over it and happy to sit at home and drink beer.

I'm looking for a full time job.. if you know anything hit us up etc.. need some cash and pretty sick of looking at these four walls around me and I may be going 'mildly' insane ( :

Must mention a very meaningful death that occured on Friday the 28th. Gordon Howell you were so much more then a neighbour to me, but a guide and someone I could always depend on. You were always there for everybody, even the ducks ( : and I will you miss you dearly.

-- May you rest in peace.

Right, well yes .. you're getting the dot points of my life currently. Nothing too exciting to go into extensive detail about but yes, there's more to come.

Rove's on now, and sadly it has taken my attention.

Until next time, when I can be bothered using standard and more comprehensable English.