Ah yes, blogging.

Well thanks to LSH, I've been reinspired to blog!

Oh and thanks for being my second subscriber, lol.

Can't say my life has been too interesting lately..

Friday Night was Bowies party although I spent half of it at the park taking a trip down memory lane with a certain someone haha. Then Saturday was Relay for Life.. which was really awesome.. until I became sleep deprived and do you think I could stop laughing at Sonia... seriously everytime I looked at her, I broke into hysterics. My cheeks ached when I got home from laughing so hard.. please.. remind me never to do an all nighter again.

Hmm, well I'm bored!

and this didn't entertain me..

my brain has become shut-off and I should have been asleep hours ago!

goodbye!

Love love love

Goulburn Valley Collect <3>

Talk about your interesting Friday night!

Ellen and I had decided to head out to Dhurringile (sorry for the spelling) for Sarah's 18th! (:

It was quite amusing and her Dad is an absolute cracker hahaha and also a shoutout to her mum (not that she will read this) but anywhooo, thanks for the excellent food. Beer and food, it doesn't get much better! Although it got a bit cold and Adam (Ellen's brother) had a friend playing at Lemon Tree so we headed back into Shep, after waiting anxiously for Granmamama to hurry the heck up.. she managed to get lost haahaha she's cute (:

After Lemontree we headed to Yahoo yada yada.. bla bla had a drink, got kicked out (: Oh ya know the usual. Anyhow on our way out we managed to trek across these two random blokes, anyhow we all got talkin' and that and what do you know Ellen and I ended up going home with them buahahahaha. Oh I love spur of the moment things.

So basically I've had no sleep, I'll probably re-read over this and find that I'm incomprehensible but oh well ya get that.

ox.

Can't be bothered..

But I totally will write a blog (:

I'm watching some ridiculous nonsense on Uk tv. Don't ask why I'm on this channel because honestly it was just on when I flicked onto Austar.

I just finished watching the Footy Show and I must say it was a cracker of an episode. Sam Newman being interviewed by Nathan Brown completely amused me and compelled me to keep watching, not that I need my arm twisted.

When asked what the end results of Sunday's match (Saints v Collingwood) would be the panel were undecided. This makes me rather nervous/anxious but I'm preying the Saints will pull through! (:

So tomorrow night I'm heading out to an 18th, should be amusing! (: I draw ever closer to my own 18th and I won't lie, I'm still counting down the days and only have 245 odd sunrises to go !!!! (:

Today was a bit of a bore, didn't get up to much. Went for a drive and apparently off for another one tomorrow. I'm still in hunt of a job and sadly for my sanity and for my bank account I have not been very successful. One day, when I least expect it I presume I'll have some luck. Or like the last time in my baron time for work, I went through 5 weeks of searching and then all of a sudden within 1 week I had 4-5 interviews to choose from.

As I type I can see the veins move in my hands, it's somewhat freaky and I don't like it. I really don't think it's possible for me to grow long nails. I'm simply too taken by my habit and I'm forever biting my nails, it's terrible :(

Anywhooooo, I'm quite bored of this and have discovered that I have one whole subscriber so thanks Tyson, lol . Everyone else should quit being lazy shits and totally make an account if you don't have one and make Ashy feel loved (:

ox.

Ashy. (:

Oh I'm all doom and gloom...

How could I possibly forget!

We welcomed Spring today!

It was a terrible day actually it was gloomy and cold and windy but I wasn't expecting anything else. Take me straight to summer please. Being out the river with my dog, living in my bathers and drinking ice cold beers straight out of the eski. It may be a complete Australian 'bogan' image/cliche, whatever I really don't care (:

I like the outdoors. I like beer and dammit I like summer (:

xx.

Ah yep.

Well today was interesting, I was awoken early by Miss Ellen and we adventured off to Shep together to be street rats, just cause it's the cool thing to do. We checked out the new Jb Hi-Fi (ooh big news I know lol) but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Definitely a lot better then WoW, at least I can see Sunshine and not feel so dam claustrophobic. When I got home it was finally time to face the music and go and visit Rose.

I understand that people grieve in different ways, but being calm is just so unbearable how does she stand it? People console themselves with statements such as ' he had a good innings ' or ' at least he didn't suffer ' and it drives me absolutely insane. In my opinion there's no good ' way to go ' or never a good time. I hesitated seeing Rose for a couple days because I knew if I went in there I would see Gordon's empty recliner and all the remnants of his life and the fact that he had passed on would become abundantly real and overwhelming. You basically live everyday in your surroundings until one day your gone and hopefully you're lucky enough to have someone around to pack up your things, box everything up as though you never existed and then you're nothing but a memory.

Gordon was always the nice 'old' guy from next door. As a kid I'd run home from school and simply wait out the front just eager for Gordie to come out of his gate with his bucket of bread. He would cross the road and go to the lake near every night and feed the ducks. This is only one of the ways he was a brilliant man. He provided me with knowledge and friendship and guided me when I needed it the most. He took the up most pride in his garage sales and it took me numerous years to finally click that the yellow tinged bubbly liquid in his glass that he called 'medicine' was in fact a nice cold glass of beer.

I will miss Gordon a lot, and tomorrow I'll say goodbye.

-- Death is the wish of some, the relief of many, and the end of all.

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

(It's still a gloomy topic none the less, one I tend to hope I wont have to touch on again )

I'm not going to lie

I may have had a few beers ;)

But it was nice just to chat to dad today about the good old times. I make him laugh and he's one of the few people who can respect my raw sarcasm. He was telling me random things I used to do as a little kid and I can't help but reminisce. I miss the little girl I once was.. so innocent and free. I miss how when I scraped my knee or the video player would stuff up and I couldn't watch the lion king, and these were the most devastating parts of my day. I've made a lot of mistakes in life, but I'm surviving. I'm an independent person and that became abundantly clear when Dad was telling me that I was always wise beyond my years, even as a child. When you grow up in a similar situation to me you learn that you have to become wise, become older or you simply don't fit in in your world. I never sat around playing 'dolls' and having 'tea parties' instead I'd want to go and visit family and try and hold intelligent conversations with them. Of course none of them took me seriously, but now I finally find they are. It's a good feeling, all I need now is a job. A place to show everyone that I don't need a piece of paper to prove what I can do. A chance is all I'm looking for, and if I keep searching hopefully I will discover that chance.

Last day of Winter hey? and I can't act like I'm not excited.It's draws us ever closer into spring ... which in turn brings us to my favourite season of all SUMMER! I love summer more then I love life. It means late nights skinny dipping and drinking beers, eating tea outdoors and watching the sunsets, playing with friends for hours and my favourite.. camping. I miss the good old days where all of my family would camp for weeks on end. I'd play cricket with all my cousins and swim for hours and hours, only to retire when I was utterly exhausted and starved! I'd eat around 5 sausages and sleep! Only to be awake at the crack of dawn to do it all again the next day. Nothing in the world will ever replace these memories.

Anyhow, beer awaits.. so until next time remember

-- You can't go back in time, but you can do your best to recapture the kid you once were and always seize every opportunity while you have it, because you never know when you'll get another chance to enjoy pure bliss.

Do you ever wish

..To go back in time.

Do you ever read snippets of things you have written? You read the words and they capture yourself, but so much time has passed, you have forgotten the what seems now foolish, ridiculous ideas and beliefs that you once owned, so many moments before. Do you wish you could jump into your old body, and re-write a different story but having the ability to keep all your present thoughts and knowledge?

If we were to re-write history what would it affect? We all have paths in life and we choose where we head. I had the most overwhelming feeling the other day. It's like I was sitting in one of those crazy American motorways, the ones with around 30 different roads all encircling one another but heading outward different directions. It's like I knew what path 'I should' take but instead I felt myself getting behind the wheel and taking the path I knew was wrong. If you know a road is going to be a dead end do you still take it? If you knew something was doomed from the beginning would you still take the risk? And if all roads do in fact 'lead to Rome' then what is the need for a map? I say take the journey. Experience life at it's best because you only get to live it once. I'm sick of being pocketed into stereotypes and suffering from blatant hypocrisy. Why be average? Don't take the highway straight to the city, but in fact take the back roads. For in lies the adventure of a lifetime. Enjoy everything. Sleep all day on a weekday 'just because you feel like it', drink beer at 10 in the morning, scream 'fuck you' in the middle of a crowded street if it makes you feel alive. Just never lose touch with yourself.

Once you're lost the whole world disappears with you.

Don't worry about others, because truth is .. they move on .. and your still left with the ugly thoughts of bitterness and regret in your seemingly over crowded mind.

-- By the time you figure it out, it's often too late.

So quit waiting, and wake the hell up!

I'm Intrigued..

Well I've re written this twice now.

First blog, etc.. I wrote to try and please my readers but now I don't really care.

I hate sterotypes/labels etc.. and feel like I personally don't fall under anything because I'm my own person and in fact it's you label makers that fall under categories that I wouldn't be too excited to be labelled as.

I had an excellent weekend, got out to Yahoo, got my drink on.. etc.. Love the rush of rebellion but now I'm pretty much over it and happy to sit at home and drink beer.

I'm looking for a full time job.. if you know anything hit us up etc.. need some cash and pretty sick of looking at these four walls around me and I may be going 'mildly' insane ( :

Must mention a very meaningful death that occured on Friday the 28th. Gordon Howell you were so much more then a neighbour to me, but a guide and someone I could always depend on. You were always there for everybody, even the ducks ( : and I will you miss you dearly.

-- May you rest in peace.

Right, well yes .. you're getting the dot points of my life currently. Nothing too exciting to go into extensive detail about but yes, there's more to come.

Rove's on now, and sadly it has taken my attention.

Until next time, when I can be bothered using standard and more comprehensable English.